Friday, May 11, 2012

Sometimes I'm a Perv. Join Me.

So, I've been MIA and I am totes sorry! I'm blaming it on my obsession with A Song of Ice and Fire (the book series that Game of Thrones on HBO comes from just in case you didn't know. Which you better have!) I just finished book 2 and am about to delve into book 3, but I had to come up for air to see if anyone on my corner of the internet is as into this story as I am. I'm dying to dissect and discuss it. I even gave book 1 to my 12 (almost 13!) year old sister to read so I'd have someone to talk about it with. 

When I told my mom I gave it to her and that it is wildly inappropriate (I had to explain incest when I gave it to her to dodge the question later) at worst and questionable (she asked "Is there, like, lots of killing?"(she was pretty stoked about that part)) at best all she had to say was "she'll never read it because it's so long." C'mon, Lindz, prove her wrong! My dad though got all indignant asking WHY I was trying to get her to read an inappropriate book and I answered honestly that it has a myriad of strong female characters and I thought she could use some positive female role models (no matter how fictional). The TV show is of course just retardedly wrong because HBO is like "fuck you guys, we're HBO. We'll put girl on girl action that in no way furthers the plot in here all we want."

Anyway! The point of this post was to play Marry, Boff, Kill with the characters of ASOIF. I'm gonna need to do a few 3 person scenarios (there are a LOT of characters or all I think about while reading intense prose is the bang-ability of these fictional characters...mostly that last part) but I'll try to do them in categories because I'm OCD like that:


Ned Stark
Theon Greyjoy
Bran Stark
Free Cities
Jorah Mormont
Khal Drogo
Tyrion Lannister
Jaime Lannister
Cersei Lannister
King’s Landing
Sandor Clegane
Joffrey Baratheon
Arya Stark
Daenerys Targaryen
Lisa Arryn

If you've read the books or watched the show, play the game! I've only read the first 2 books so if someone is going to do something to change their standing on my fancy chart I'm not aware of it yet so no spoilers! I mean, except the people who are already dicks, like Theon. I'm just kinda into that in the right context I suppose. Oh! and the Hound, I think he's not as bad of a guy as he seems...see? I need to trade opinions on this stuff!