Friday, March 2, 2012

And That's How I Wound Up Hulk Angry at Busch Gardens

Hey y'all! I apologize once again for being MIA a lot and also for my last two posts being boring (also, in advance, sorry for this one being boring). I want to tell you all about how Old Mike lost his shit last night (preview at bottom! :D), but I'm gonna wait and see how that one pans out so I can tell you the whole story. 


I went to Busch Gardens last week! It was fun. I went with people I don't really know. It was a guy I'd gone on a few dates with and his family...for someone with anxiety I sure agree to some anxiety-inducing shit. The part that got me all ragey and ranty actually had to do with me being a shameless eavesdropper.

I was walking to the park gates and got stuck behind this behemoth of a family; mom, dad, little boy...all fat (not the point but I want you to get the mental picture). They're walking with junior in between them and they're lightly pushing him back and forth (this is obviously NOT the part that upset me) and he's pushing back at them. They were heckling him by saying "hey Sally, is that all you got" and "oh Sally, you better call Lightning to come help you, Sally" (weird misogynistic Cars reference).

Seriously?? If you're a parent and you ever call your son a girl like it's a derogatory thing, you fucking suck. There's no defense of that; you just actually should have your kid taken away. It was disconcerting to see the same archaic ideas that we've been fighting against for years being drilled into the head of the next generation. That kid is obviously being inundated with how lucky he is to have been born a boy, because being a girl is the worst thing you can be. If you're going to heckle your kid about being weak, just call him weak; if he can't throw a ball, call him a... fucking shitty ball thrower (or something that rolls of the tongue better I guess). There's no reason we should still be able to hear things like "You throw like a girl" or "Why you crying, Sally?" coming from parents. 

I'm having such a tough time being funny or even interesting lately! I don't know where my groove went, but I'm desperately looking for it. If you see it, call me. 

**Preview of insanity: he told me that "telling someone you love them and then sleeping with someone else is the definition of a whore" and I'm not talking to him, but if I was I would inform him that: a whore is "a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet." I certainly haven't been paid; I date poor guys.**

In the mean time, Killa informed me that beavers make noise (I did not know this) when asked what they sound like, she said "a whining toddler"...she was right. Enjoy


  1. That would've pissed me off too. I probably would've said something like, "my name is Sally," too, because I have no fear of getting punched in public.

    Don't worry girl. You're always funny. :)


  2. I could listen to a beaver all day, but I like annoying things because I never had a groove.

  3. That beaver is amazing. I had no idea they made such noises.