and I expected it to be pretty damn weird.
The problem
with what we *think* "adult life" is going to be like when we're 11
is that we're 11 and, therefore, completely retarded and hilariously ill
equipped to even fathom the future. When I was younger, I was fat and not so
cute. Well, elementary school years were ugly I was the cutest goddamn
baby/toddler ever, but that is neither here nor there. Anyway, I was fat and
not cute and I talked pretty much just how I talk now but with less swearing.
So, I always assumed people would always call me fat. As in, ALWAYS. My tiny
child brain thought that adults seriously go around calling each other rude
names right to each other's faces like all the kids in my class did. I was
thinking today (and I always feel like I should justify where my thoughts come
from, but honestly they're just buzzing around in there and one
will occasionally stop long enough for me to consider it) that I wouldn't
even know what to do or how to react if someone started an argument with me and
said something like "Well, you're fat!" I mean, I honestly cannot
even fathom that scenario. I know that adults are mean (rarely meaner than
middle school-ers, but I digest (intentional digest/digress)), but
my brain cannot comprehend that scenario without laughing at the type of immaturity
that would manifest a comment like that.
Other things I
assumed to be true:
"Driving will be awesome always. I will never tire of driving by
myself even if I'm just getting sent to the store." False. I hate getting
sent to the store.
"Grown people aren't ashamed to be your friend." False.
Sometimes you'll spend all your time with a person and one day it will dawn on
you that you never go in public together, you don't know any of their people,
and they're constantly scanning for better plans on the horizon.
"Your best friend is your best friend always and nothing stupid like
boys will make you not be friends." Hahahaha. I know you've all heard some
The Pretty One drama kinda consistently and I'm sure it's losing it's luster,
but just going to once again state that, though I love her, she is a royal
bitch almost always. Especially in situations where menfolk might be
involved.
I'm not sure
what got me started on all this reflection. All I know is that I thought life
went one way and it turns out that I was pretty much wrong on every assumption.
Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I was wrong about most things because I
think my existence is pretty rad, but 11 year old Bri definitely thought 22
year old Bri was going to be a lot of things she's not; like graduated from
college, working a real job, having someone love her (11 year old Bri could not
think of a better scenario than someone loving her fat self, 22 year old Bri
loves her though so I think she's fulfilled (just gave myself diabeetus with
that one. bleck)), looking put together. Also, she hoped we'd have money. Silly girl.
On another
note, all y'all should listen to my radio show, Go Peeve Yourself, on
Wednesdays @ 11am on http://lifeimprovementradio.com/ it's
basically just a bitch fest to get all our little pet peeves out so we don't go
all Hulk on the terrible people we meet in our daily interactions. Also, like
the show on Facebook because that's how love works nowadays and tell me your
stories of terrible people: http://www.facebook.com/gopeeveyourself
My younger self definitely did not realize how badass I was going to end up being.
ReplyDelete