Friday, January 20, 2012

Things They Need to Hear Thursday: Take a Hint Edition

I know it's Friday. This is nothing new; at least it's only one day late. My absence from my beautiful blog is completely the fault of the College Algebra class I'm taking online. My teacher only knows how to 'Reply All' on e-mails, so I still haven't gotten my questions answered, but I've seen the answers to everyone else's questions. ANYWAY

Dear Weird Publix Kid,

I do not like you; I'm sorry. Yes, we hung out a few times. Yes, it was OK. Alas, I do not want to sleep with you. Or date you. Or spend any extended time in your company because you creep me out a little and I've grown partial to my skin. I don't know how to be less interested. When you text me, I don't respond or send only one word answers. When you ask if I'd like to 'hang out' and I miraculously have been 'called in' to work that evening, guess what? I haven't been called in; I work at a hotel, I'm not a doctor. If I have to go to work I have at least 8 hours’ notice every time. I just would rather sit alone in my room catching up on my blog subscriptions than go anywhere with you. Please acquire some self-awareness.

Backing away slowly,


Seriously, this is getting redic. This kid just won't catch a hint. I've got this weirdo texting me every day, Old Mike acting like a child every other day, and an e-mail correspondence with a 38 year old man who lists the New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys as his favorite musical artists. What the actual fuck?

Anyone else have an abundance of weird all up in their bid'ness or is it just me?


  1. I don't think it gets weirder than the shiz I've come across in my campus apartments this week. It's strange enough when they're home, but when they're all home for the break, it's a little Children of the Corn-esque.

    As for Mr. Creeper, ask him if he knows any good surgeons for gender reassignment because you've come to terms with the fact that your body is not what you were meant to be and you're ready to take the next step in rectifying God's little oversight.

  2. I deal with weirdos and crazies all the time at the bar.

    Since I am an ass, I do not hesitate to tell these people (who can not take a hint) to leave me the fuck alone and that I do not like them.

    It works every single time.

  3. I'd say be upfront with him, but like you said, keeping your skin is a good thing. Sorry for all the weirdos. Uh, at least you can blog about it? ;)