Monday, November 14, 2011

Things I Hate: Part I

I added the 'Part I' thing up there because, as any one who knows me can attest, I am constantly bitching about how much I hate things (most of which have no reason to be hated). Now, lots of people have tried to tell me how it's not good to hate so much, and how I'll feel better if I just let it go; I assure you that those people are wrong (and that if you're thinking that, so are you). I would not be me, in all manifestations of that illustrious idea, if I did not have my irrational pet peeves and hatred; believe me, I enjoy it immensely. Here is a little list of just the things I've been reminded I hate lately (now with explanations that won't make any sense to well adjusted people!):

  1. Lovebugs - I cannot even adequately express my disdain for these things. It is that time of year down here where these damn things are EVERYWHERE; getting stuck to your clothes and your windshield and flying all up in your car if you have the windows down. They. are. awful. This isn't even a fear thing (like the frog thing is) this is a "My god, they are so fucking pretentious!" thing. I mean, if any of us were outside, on people's cars, jumping in people's windows while doing what these assholes are doing we would be arrested. They're just flying around and boning AT THE SAME TIME! I've taken to doing my part to curb this issue by immediately turning on my windshield wipers whenever a pair of fucking bugs (literally) lands on my windshield. They're rubbing it in your face, and it needs to stop. 
  2. Sneezing - This one is trickier and WAY more difficult to explain. I enjoy sneezing, it is especially awesome when you really need to and you've spent an hour bitching to your coworkers about how you need to sneeze but you can't. The problem, for me, is when other people sneeze; I know this makes me sound like a complete hypocrite and that's why I usually go somewhere private to sneeze or try to sneeze with my mouth closed (which is really awkward). I realized the other night that I think I just don't like jarring noises. I found myself hiding in my room while my roommate was vacuuming the other day and at work whenever maintenance is using the leaf blower in the breezeway I suddenly remember something that needs to be done upstairs. So, essentially, I'm some sort of Bones(my dog)-Bri hybrid that can walk and talk, but still runs away from the vacuum cleaner...and who would really appreciate it if you took your sneeze over there.
  3. Heighth - This one. Holy shitballs. I absolutely cannot stand when people say this. In case you're one of the lucky ones and didn't spend an absurd amount of your time in high school throwing metal objects in the air, this is how some people (more than you think) say height; as in length, width, heighth. I am judging you so hard if you do this. It is not a word. Telling me that my spin is good, but I need more heighth is like wearing a sign around your neck that just says "ASSHOLE." Oh and if you ever try to correct one of these they're all 'I think it sounds better that way' well I think it sounds better to say recockulous, but that doesn't make it a word. Please stop the madness, y'all. It's painful and you sound ignorant.
I have more, but I'm sure I've adequately displayed a few of my many issues to ensure that you all now know why I am single. Also, this post has been sitting pretty as a draft for a while and I wanted to put something up that wasn't emo as hell. 

So, does anyone else irrationally hate things? Or is it just me?

1 comment:


    It drives me freakin insane! Is that even a real word??? I feel like people sound dumb saying. I truly want to punch the person that started that word.