Thursday, November 17, 2011

Things They Need to Hear Thursdays: Yahoo! Edition

It is that time again. Time to mercilessly point out the shortcomings of others. Today's post was inspired by reading the comments on Yahoo! News articles; some people just should not be allowed online.

Dear Yahoo! News Pundits,

I know you feel strongly about the issues being reported upon on Yahoo!'s homepage and that's why you get that itch to let your voice be heard in a public forum. I respect that you have opinions on things; do you. I only take offense when "doing you" causes you to completely eradicate any point you were trying to make by letting your rage blind you to your ignorance. Let's just talk about a funny phenomenon where you think you're going to use a simple cliché, but wind up butchering it beyond recognition. Example: "Bear23 5 minutes ago This has turned into a 3 ring circles and the saddest part is, the victims are being forgotten and ppl like Palin is using this as a political ploy." There is a lot happening here, I know. The reference I was making though is to the use of the phrase "3 ring circles" I'm sure he meant "3 ring circus," but here we are. Even without the ' using this..." we all already assume that Bear here is a complete moron. OK, OK, I hear you saying that maybe that was auto correct or just a typo; fine. I have more examples of y'all being completely idiotic while calling other people stupid. Let's take whatver for example; he wondered "um isnt there a statue of limitations?" Hmm, I'm not sure whatver (seriously?!). What exactly would a statue of limitations look like? Perhaps a stone rendering of '.08 BAC'? One more for you wannabe insightful bastards. Check out what your cohort cobra2681 thought about the Sandusky scandal "Every couch on that team knew something wasnt right!" What about the chairs, friend? Did they know something wasn't right? I'm not sure what y'all are trying to get across here except, perhaps, the failure of the education system. I also don't know what your aversion to apostrophes are, but I promise you they are like little unicorn kisses on your sentences. Also, us over here (wave everyone), we're judging you.


Seriously, the comments section of Yahoo! News is its own particular brand of entertainment/torture. Also, I'm rapidly running out of Things They Need to Hear Thursday material, so if you can think of anyone, anything, or any group that needs to hear something leave me a comment or drop me an e-mail. Help me out, y'all!

1 comment:

  1. Oh man, the comments section on anything is like watching reality TV. You want to look away, but you can't.