Monday, December 12, 2011

I Got Called a Buttmunch. How Was Your Weekend?

That happened. I got called a "buttmunch" by a grown man. Do these crazies really not understand why they're single?? I mean, I've never had a truly healthy, stable, grown-up relationship, but even I know this is not the way to get one.

Backstory: I told this guy I'd go out with him. I said I'd meet him at a place downtown on Wednesday at 8:30 p.m. On Tuesday night: 

Dec. 6, 9:48pm
NutJob: hi
NutJob: i was there waiting for you
NutJob: hi?
NutJob: [frowning emoticon with broken heart]
BriBri: Huh? I said Wednesday

This kid never responded to that, so I assumed he figured I blew him off and that would be it...I am an idealist. He messaged me the next night saying that he had gone to the restaurant again. I obviously wasn't there. He got all sad emoticon-y all up in my business. I said sorry and he said "YOU ARE A REALLY REALLY MEAN PERSON" judging by that I started to get concerned that I was unknowingly being preyed upon by a middle school boy. I informed him of my suspicions that he is a nut job and he just let loose a stream of crazy like you've never seen. Then he signed off and I figured THAT would be the last of him...why am I always wrong? 

3 days later he IM'd me and told me he couldn't forgive what I said about him; I responded with 'mmk' NutJob let loose some cray-cray key smash and told me to go to hell and that I was a "horrible girl." He called me 'mean' a few dozen times, then he brought out the heavy artillery: "buttmunch" is all the message said. I have not heard that 'insult' uttered since middle school. He sent a devil emoticon and said that was me. He TOLD me to apologize. Now, as anyone who knows me is aware: I am not TOLD to do things by anyone, save my parents and my bosses. I still kept my cool though; I swear I wasn't actually mean to this guy. He just legitimately seems to be off his damn rocker. I inquired as to his age: "BriBri: are you 12?" He did not care for that either. Some more KEY SMASH ensued. He demanded I apologize; I did not. 

I read the whole conversation to my mom and Killa and we legit had trouble catching our breath. I just cannot believe this is how some grown people choose to interact. Also, AS I WAS TYPING THIS, NutJob IM'd me saying "let's go out" This is a joke right? I'm being Punk'd? Please say yes. 

In other news, my parents and my sister came to town this weekend; there's nothing to do in this place so we toured the campus of a school I do not even attend...and this: 

I think his Jockey ads are sexy, but I do not enjoy his morality; possibly because I have questionable morals. 


  1. I have a confession. I am an "adult" technically. I definitely still call people "Buttmunch."

  2. But you aren't trying to date me lol and I think my beef is mainly with how serious he was about the whole thing. I say some very non adult things on a daily basis but when I'm honestly hurt and angsty, I try harder than buttmunch lol

    Plus, you're rad and can get away with it. I'm pretty sure this kid wanted to wear my skin.