Thursday, December 8, 2011

Things They Need to Hear Thursdays: Don't be a Dick Edition

I've got half an hour left of Thursday. Let's do this shit. I've had to deal with some of the rudest, shittiest guests ever this week (if you're just joining us (or forgot, cause who gives a fuck) I work at a hotel). These people suck.

Dear Ornery Guests,

You suck. Yeah, I said it. What is it about hotels that turn you people into sniveling infants? If your plumbing is backed up, I understand your frustration and, perhaps, anger. If you booked a King size bed on Priceline for 12 bucks and I put you in a 2 double because we're out of kings, do NOT call me and say "I NEED a king size bed." I just fucking told you, I don't have any! This isn't Hogwarts; there's no room of requirement that appears when your fat ass decides it can't fit in a Full sized bed. Lay down, shut up, and go to sleep. Hey, yous! Yeah yous guys that call in wake up calls for times like 6:55 or 7:10; please go die in all the fires. You're a grown ass person, you can pick a quarter hour interval just like everyone else. If you need to wake up at douchebag:30, you can set your cell phone alarm or the alarm clock PROVIDED IN YOUR ROOM. Also, while we're on wake-up calls, do not ask me to call you back in 5 minutes. Please refer to the portion of the seminar where I reminded you that you're an adult and I am not your mother. Stop calling me to ask for the WiFi password and then asking me to hold on while you sound out the word 'castle.' You called me, asshole, and I'm at work; you're just trying to watch porn or check the Facebook. One last thing, do not come up to my desk, ask me the rate, and then ask "is that the best you can do?" while either looking disapproving or pervy. Yes, that is the best I can do. Actually, it just went up 20 bucks for asking that dumbass question. Get it together, act like a grown up, and STFU or GTFO.


Yes I referenced Hogwarts. Deal. 

Also, my parents and my sister are coming into town this weekend for the first time in the 18 months I've lived here! I am psyched and will probably not be posting this weekend, but I'm sure there will be shenanigans. Now, hopefully they won't notice I'm broke. At least I'm broke cause I got my mom a bitchin' Xmas gift. That negates it, right? 

1 comment:

  1. AMEN, SISTAH! People in general, are just fucking douchebags.

    And love the HP reference.