Sometimes,
when I see the same strangers around all the time I like to make up little back
stories and motivations for their actions even though I know nothing about
them. There's a guy in my apartment complex that I'm pretty sure has actual
balls of steel (at least according to my imaginary back story for him).
Let's discuss
balls of steel guy.
A few weeks
ago I started seeing a guy and a girl walking around every evening. Through
only the 3.2 seconds I saw them as I drove by, I decided that they were friends
but this guy wants to get out of the friendzone and into the bed. I came to
this conclusion for a few reasons:
1. They aren't
ever walking very close or touching in any way.
2. The girl is
wearing a scarlet velour jogging suit. Yes, really.
3. She pushes
a baby stroller containing...a tiny Pomeranian. Yes, a dog. In a stroller.
Beyond my own complete lack of understanding as to what the point of walking your dog is if the dog isn't
actually walking, any person willing to be seen in public with this chick
either has balls made of actual steel or is putting the pussy on a pedestal (as
The 40 Year Old Virgin would say).
I say all this
to say: If I ever drive by you, I'm probably making up your whole life in my
head and that's why I'm staring.
Also, my life
is unexciting and I have nothing else to blog about.
Because this
looks so short and blank to me, here's a picture I just re-found of my entire
family standing under a sign that says someone else's names at a wedding chapel
in Vegas (it hadn't switched to my parents' names yet and we're a
little...touched.)
There in the middle you'll see...not Denise and James.
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My friend and I do this at restaurants all the time. My stories are always the worst, and even though we are totally MAKING THEM UP, somehow, I'm always wrong.
ReplyDeleteHere is what I think. The couple is married, which would explain the distance between them. Married people actually hate each other. The dog is their horribly ugly child.
ReplyDelete